SportsTrax – the little mobile device that (almost) could

In 1994, the Toronto Blue Jays introduced a revolutionary concept: SportsTrax, a mobile device that gave you more-or-less real time updates on all games the Jays played. Using the same technology as an LCD pager, it would display runners on base and, of course, outs, inning, runs, hits and errors. If you turned the sound up, it would even cheer, boo and jeer plays as they happened. TV ads for it featuring Cito Gaston and BJ Birdy aired on TSN.

Manufactured by Motorola, it really was a cool idea. At a time when the internet was more novelty than necessity, real-time information about sporting events was hard to come by; either you watched on TV (if the game was even broadcast; most major cities only had one sports channel in those days), sat glued to the radio, or waited until the next day and read about it on the sports page.

Under the hood, SportsTrax was actually pretty primitive: a new startup called “Sports Teams Analysis Tracking Systems” (perhaps you’ve since heard of them; STATS, Inc, anyone?) hired people to watch the games, and then input what they’d just seen to Motorola’s satellite uplink.

The Blue Jays were (very) early adopters; for 149.00 you got unlimited data (Motorola estimated that it would be about 3 years ’til the little guy was outpaced by newer technologies) for the life of the device.

So why didn’t it catch on? Well, for one thing, 149.00 was a lot of money 25 years ago. I, with a young family, certainly couldn’t have justified the expense. Motorola projected sales of 50,000 in the first year; I’d be surprised if they managed 10% of that.

The other thing that happened was the NBA. Motorola wanted to bring their technology to pro basketball. When talks broke down, they went ahead anyway and, in 1996, David Stern & Co. sued.

“The National Basketball Association v. Sports Teams Analysis Tracking Systems, aka STATS, Inc.” (now more commonly referred to as NBA v. Motorola) became a landmark intellectual property rights case in American sport.

The NBA asserted that Motorola’s product constituted a live broadcast and, as such, was proprietary information, only available to licensed broadcasters (you’ve all heard the blurb during every sports broadcast).

Motorola and STATS contended that the data they were providing was just factual information, available to anyone. Blow-by-blow game accounts were available the next morning in every newspaper; SportsTrax just sped up the process.

Though a lower court granted an injunction, in 1997, the NY State 2nd Circuit appellate overturned it, finding that, “(1) Sports Trax is not a substitute for the product offered by the NBA — being at the game or watching it on television — and (2) there was no “free-riding” because STATS and Motorola expended their own resources to collect the factual information (broadcast to the public via television or radio) which they then disseminated.” In this case, SportsTrax’ primitiveness helped it survive.

Of course, by 1997, SportsTrax was pretty much obsolete, anyway. More and more families now had internet connectivity, and new TV sports channels were springing up  (seemingly) every week.

The corollary here is that these initial forays into this brave new world forced sports leagues to meet new technologies and platforms head on; in 2000, Major League Baseball started Major League Baseball Advanced Media (MLBAM), to oversee all online and mobile applications. After some initial teething problems, BAM generated US$620 million in revenues for its member clubs in 2012.

That said, every time that you see a crawler showing live updates of one sport while you’re watching another, you can (indirectly) thank Motorola’s fight with the NBA.

 

That Ballpark on the Lake Shore – The Toronto Maple Leafs Baseball Club & Stadium 1895-1967

Early Days

In 1895, the Toronto Base Ball Club became a charter member of the old Eastern League. For the first five years, they used the nickname “Canucks“. In 1899, they decided to try the name “Maple Leafs” on for size. In 1902, that became the team’s official nickname. “Like the hockey team!” I hear you exclaim. Actually, early in the 20th century, the professional hockey team in Toronto played under various handles (Blueshirts, Arenas, St. Patricks). They didn’t start using the moniker “Leafs” until Conn Smythe bought the team in 1927. By that time, the baseball club had used that name for a quarter-century.

Though the official Minor League level designations that we’re used to nowadays didn’t exist then, the Eastern League was regarded as Class “A” ball; at the time, one level below the majors. When it was decided to have a level above that (“AA”) in 1912 , the Eastern League (and the Leafs) moved up. Now renamed the “International League“, they would stay there until the end of World War II.

Starting in 1897, the team played their home games at Hanlan’s Point Stadium on the Toronto Islands. The stadium there burned down in 1909, and was replaced by a larger concrete structure the following year. It was in this ballpark that a visiting player, a 19-year-old lad named George Herman “Babe” Ruth, both pitched a shutout and hit a home run into Toronto Harbour on September 5, 1914.

The New Jewel of a Ballpark

Long dingers weren’t the only thing that Hanlan’s Point couldn’t contain; by the early 20’s, baseball’s increasing popularity meant that the Leafs needed a new home. In 1926, they got one; Maple Leaf Stadium, a brand new 23,000-seat facility at the foot of Bathurst Street on the south side of Fleet Street (now Lake Shore Boulevard).

Aerial view of Maple Leaf Stadium, clearly showing its location between the (now) Omni TV building, and the Tip Top Tailors building.

 

Designed by Chapman, Oxley and Bishop (the same architects that crafted such Toronto landmarks as the Sunnyside Bathing Pavilion, the Palais Royale and the Prince’s Gate at the Canadian National Exhibition), it was a fine example of a single-tier “jewel box”-style stadium, as the ornate concrete stadia of the early 20th century are sometimes called.

 

The team, and its ballpark, suffered the ups and downs of the next twenty years; the Great Depression, which severely affected attendance, and the Second World War, which sent both fans and players overseas on active duty. These upheavals almost caused several Major League teams to go under, and the trickle-down effect in the minor leagues was more severe. The dire economic situation  did, however, spawn one innovation; direct affiliations between Major League and Minor League teams. In St. Louis, General Manager Branch Rickey astutely realized that rather than buy the best players from minor league clubs for top dollar,  it actually made economic sense to control several minor league teams and develop talent yourself. You can then promote the good players, and release the rest. Rickey’s “Gas House Gang”  Cardinals of the 1930’s pointed the way; the other Major League teams could not help but follow.

In 1946, minor-league levels were adjusted again. The new top tier  was “AAA”, and three existing leagues were given that designation; The Pacific Coast League (on the West Coast), The American Association (the Midwest) and, of course, the Leafs’ home, The International League (the Great Lakes and Eastern Seaboard). By this time, more & more Major League teams had embraced Rickey’s idea of a “farm system” but, rather than buy an interest in a minor-league team, signed their affiliates to a new kind of agreement called a “Player Development Contract“, giving them exclusive control over a minor league team’s roster for a defined period.  Teams that embraced this system (especially the Cardinals, Yankees and Dodgers) thrived in the post-war period.

1946 was a landmark year in another sense; it was the first year of integration in the IL, as Jackie Robinson joined the Leafs’ Canadian IL rivals, the Montreal Royals.

New Ownership, New Success

In 1951, media mogul Jack Kent Cooke purchased the team. Cooke had made his fortune

Cooke, right, switches hats with team manager Joe Becker

 

buying & selling radio stations and newspapers throughout eastern Canada. Like Bill Veeck, he understood the value of appealing to the casual fan; he began staging almost as long a list of promotions and celebrity appearances as Veeck was in St. Louis. Cooke was quick to share his strategies with the rest of the IL, realizing that a strong league meant greater stability for all. His efforts earned him a “Minor League Executive of the Year” award from The Sporting News.

Though he did have a player development contract with Veeck’s Browns in the early ’50’s, Cooke soon returned to the old ways; developing young players, picking up other teams’ reclamation projects, and selling the result on to the highest bidder. For a time, it gave them  a real edge in the IL; Toronto finished either first or second in the league every year from 1954-58.

The final days of the glory years: May 1961.

Alas, Cooke’s other interests began to interfere with the ballclub. in 1960, he was denied a license to operate the first privately-owned TV station in Toronto (the license ultimately went to Cooke’s rival, Ted Rogers, who launched CFTO-TV).

Within weeks, Cooke  had applied for US citizenship. He moved to Washington, DC and started to sell off his Canadian assets. Relocation only seemed to whet his appetite for sports ownership; in 1961, he bought a 25% stake in the Washington Redskins.  In 1965, he bought the Los Angeles Lakers outright and then, in 1966, after being awarded the NHL‘s expansion franchise for LA, built the Los Angeles Forum in the suburb of Inglewood to house both the Kings and the Lakers.

Decline and Fall

Though Cooke retained an interest in the Leafs until 1964, the writing was on the wall. The old stadium was beginning to show its age, and no-one wanted to pony up for the necessary repairs. There was a drive for public ownership but, with Toronto now seeing itself as a “Major League” city (and with Major League Baseball  now regularly available on network TV), minor league ball seemed a quaint anachronism.

After the 1967 season, the team was purchased by real estate developer Walter Dilbeck, who moved the operation to Louisville, Kentucky and renamed them the Colonels. The club moved again in 1973, this time, to Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Renamed the Pawtucket Red Sox, they continue to operate there to this day.

The Jewel of a ballpark, neglected since the mid-fifties, never saw another ballgame. In 1968, Maple Leaf Stadium fell to the wrecker’s ball.

William Louis “Bill” Veeck, Jr. IV – Go-Go Sox! – 1959-61 and 1975-81

Of course, Veeck was going to have another stab at ownership, as soon as one presented itself. On the south side of Chicago, a family feud between Charles Comiskey’s heirs did exactly that. Comiskey’s widow had died in 1956, and ownership of the White Sox was split unevenly between her children. The eldest daughter, Dorothy Rigney, held the majority position; the son, Charles Comiskey II, owned the rest. He ran day-to-day operations and, of course, bitterly resented deferring to his sister.

Veeck assembled yet another consortium to buy an option on Mrs. Rigney’s share of the Sox. In February, 1959, they exercised that option, and Veeck once again had a controlling interest in a Major League ballclub.

Chuck Comiskey, understandably, went ballistic; he’d had control of the club ripped from

Strange bedfellows: Chuck Comiskey (left) and Veeck.

under him. He refused to sign any cheques written by Veeck. Veeck invited reporters in the press box to have 54% (his share) of a cup of coffee on him.

This time around, the one thing Veeck didn’t have to tinker much with was the team on the field. In the slugging American League, home to Kaline, Killebrew, Mantle and Maris, the Chicago White Sox were literally running circles around the opposition; speed-and-defense players like Luis Aparicio, Nellie Fox and Minnie Minoso were confounding conventional wisdom and, not coincidentally, winning…a LOT. In the first year of Veeck ownership, the “Go-Go Sox” won the World Series, leading to this awkward photo of Veeck and Chuck Comiskey sharing a convertible in the victory parade.

Veeck was still up to his old promotional tricks, though. He invented the “exploding scoreboard” at Comiskey Park, with pinwheels, rockets and sound effects (a cavalry charge, gunfire, collisions) that went off any time the Sox did anything positive. He put player’s names on the backs of their jerseys, an innovation that persists to this day. And the giveaways just got more outrageous; live orchids on Mother’s Day. 1000 cans of beer. 1000 bottles of soda. 100 restaurant meals.

Despite setting team attendance records (1.6 million in 1960) failing health forced Veeck to sell his share to fellow consortium member Arthur Allyn, Jr. in 1961. Veeck retired, after a fashion; one of his first moves was to write an autobiography covering his years in baseball – “Veeck as in Wreck“, published in 1962. In it, he proffered such gems as “(Giants owner) Horace Stoneham is the dumbest man I ever met. He owns the most storied franchise in baseball. He has the best player in baseball (Willie Mays). He played in the #1 baseball city in the world (New York). So he has to move the team to San Francicso because he couldn’t make any money???” Veeck knew that, had he been given those kind of advantages, he’d be able to lap the field.

Curt Flood with attorney Arthur J. Goldberg, and MLB Player’s Assn. chief Marvin Miller.

 

Veeck’s sense of fair play was never far from the surface. In 1970, multiple-time All-Star and Gold Glove winner Curt Flood was rather unceremoniusly traded from the Cardinals, his home for twelve seasons, to Philadelphia, whose fans had a reputation for being unfairly hard on African-American players. Flood announced his retirement, then set about suing Major League Baseball and its teams, contending that no veteran player  should be traded or sold against his wishes. Curt ultimately lost Flood v. Kuhn, but Veeck testified on the plaintiff’s behalf, which made him even more of a pariah with the other owners.

Ultimately, Veeck couldn’t stay away. Ownership of the White Sox passed to Arthur Allyn’s brother, John. When John was near bankruptcy in 1975, Veeck pounced, with a consortium of more than 40 investors. Though the Lords of Baseball weren’t thrilled to have him back (they had to take multiple votes to confirm his readmission to their ranks), he was, just in time for Bicentennial. The promotions continued apace, including dressing the players in Bermuda shorts for warm-weather games.

Veeck’s return happened to coincide with the first Major League players being granted free agency. In some small way, he was a catalyst for that change, having testified on Curt Flood’s behalf, but now that the money was coming out of his pocket, he wasn’t happy about paying top dollar to hold on to his players. A younger, healthier Veeck would have welcomed the opportunity to outsmart his fellow owners in the free-agent market the way he had when fleecing them in trades, but it was not to be.

Though no longer an active participant, Veeck remained part of the ownership group until 1981. Bill continued his smoking and drinking ways untill 1980 but, by then, it was too late. He ultimately succumbed to lung cancer in 1986. His fellow owners, who had been his implacable opponents in life, elected him to the Baseball Hall of Fame five years later.

His son, Mike (who, incidentally, was the architect of “Disco Demolition Night” at Comiskey in 1979) carries on the Veeck tradition with the St. Paul Saints of the independent Northern League, where he is part of an ownership group that includes Bill Murray .

William Louis “Bill” Veeck, Jr. – Part III – Painting the town (ugh) BROWN…1951-53

After his success in Cleveland, it was inevitable that Veeck would find his way back into Major League ownership. It was also inevitable that his ticket back in would be another fire sale; in this case, the sad-sack St. Louis Browns, the second team in a one-team town.

The Browns were truly awful (c’mon, their logo was a BROWN-armoured knight on a BROWN charger) from all perspectives, complicated by the fact that they were landlords for the much-more-successful Cardinals; Branch Rickey had turned his “Gas House Gang” Cards of the 30’s into a dynasty before leaving for Brooklyn in 1942. The Browns were in such bad straits, the previous owner had tried to move the team to Los Angeles in 1941, but the lack of reliable commercial air travel made west coast road trips impossible for the rest of the league.

Veeck started by “de-Cardinalizing” Sportsmen’s Park – every nook and cranny had some Browns promotional piece or tribute to a former Browns player. He then started hiring former Cards to work for his club; Rogers Hornsby to manage the team, and Dizzy Dean as its radio voice (Dean, incidentally, had a difficult time transitioning to television when that innovation came along – the game Diz called was invariably more exciting than what was actually happening on the field!).

The Grandstand Managers have their say…

The Browns’ underdog status kicked Veeck’s promotional acumen into high gear. He signed 3-foot-seven inch Eddie Gaedel to a player’s contract in 1951. Eddie had one pinch-hit plate appearance, and was walked on four pitches – all high. He staged “Grandstand Manager’s Night”, in which fans were given “YES” or “NO” cue cards to hold up in response to strategy cards held up by Browns clubbies; “BUNT”, “STEAL”, “HIT & RUN”, etc. The fans won that game 5-3. And he brought back Satchel Paige, who was now 45, for another, less successful, fling.

 

For a time, Veeck’s strategy seemed to be working, especially when Cards owner Fred Saigh was convicted of tax fraud and forced to sell the team (remember when there were actual penalties for rich people who avoided paying tax?) The Cardinals were on the verge of moving to Houston when August Anheuser “Gussie” Busch, Jr., whose family owned the Anheuser-Busch (Budweiser) brewing empire, stepped in and bought the team to keep the Cards in St. Louis.

Veeck knew he was licked. He sold Sportsmen’s Park to Anheuser-Busch to cover his existing debtload and looked for a new city for his team. The fans saw him as a carpetbagger and stayed away in droves and the other owners, fed up with what they saw as his “bush league” promotional antics, blocked the team moving anywhere unless Veeck sold his interest. Eventually, the team was sold to lawyer Clarence Miles, who moved them to Baltimore. There, of course, they became the Orioles.

William Louis “Bill” Veeck, Jr. – Part II – Social Justice and the Cleveland Indians – 1946-49

Veeck outside the Indians offices, 1947

Fresh out of the military, Veeck took his cash from the Brewers sale and realized his dream – ownership of a Major League Baseball team. Well, technically Major League; he bought the Cleveland Indians, who last won a pennant in 1920, and who played half their home games in ancient League Park, built in 1891.

Veeck had tried to buy the Philadelphia Phillies, who had filed for bankruptcy, in 1942, but rumours that he planned to restock the wartime-depleted Phils’ roster with Negro League players caused the sale to be blocked by Commissioner Landis and National League president Ford Frick.

Major League Baseball did finally integrate in 1947, when Jackie Robinson took the field for the Brooklyn Dodgers. What is less well-known is that Larry Doby was signed by Veeck in the summer of 1947, and made his debut mere weeks after Jackie, becoming the first African-American player in the American League. Manager Lou Boudreau took Doby around the Indians clubhouse and introduced him to his teammates. Any man who wouldn’t shake his hand was quickly traded or sold.

Veeck also signed the seemingly ageless Negro League star pitcher Satchel Paige, who,

Satch with Larry Doby

depending on who you believe, was somewhere between 38 and 47 years old in 1947 (Veeck’s own research seemed to indicate he was born July 7, 1906, which has since become the “official” date). Everyone around baseball was convinced that this was some sort of publicity stunt; well, everyone but Satch; he pitched 155 ⅔ innings, with a 2.78 ERA, in his two years with Cleveland. According to Veeck’s autobiography, “Veeck as in Wreck”, Paige apparently didn’t have a breaking pitch when he came to Cleveland; he had survived all those years in the Negro Leagues (and all those barnstorming tours against Major League All-Stars) with pinpoint control, the ability to change speeds, and a variety of deceptive deliveries.

Moving full-time into Cleveland Municipal Stadium, and broadcasting all of the team’s games on radio, allowed the Tribe to set an all-time Major League single season attendance record in 1948; 2.6 million, which would not be eclipsed until the Dodgers moved into Chavez Ravine in 1962. The uptick of bums in seats was also a result of a spectacular turnaround of the team’s on-field fortunes; the Tribe went 266-197 (.575 winning percentage) in 1946-49, and they beat the Boston Braves in 1948 for their first World Series victory in a generation.

However, all good things must come to an end, and so it was with Veeck and the Indians. Toward the end of his reign in Cleveland, he was involved in messy divorce proceedings from his first wife and, being that all his money was tied up in the ballclub, was forced to sell to pay the settlement. This might sound familiar to early 21st-century Dodgers fans…

William Louis “Bill” Veeck, Jr. 1914-1986

BIll Veeck in 1944

A true innovator, pioneer and maverick in the staid world of Major League Baseball. Known as “Sportshirt Bill”, because he never wore of a tie, he chain-smoked, drank martinis, and seemed not to understand the need for meals or sleep.

Bill’s father, Bill, Sr., was a sportswriter who later became president of the Chicago Cubs. Ever the dutiful son, Bill Jr. took after-school & summer employment with the team. As part of his duties as part-time groundskeeper, he planted the ivy that still grows on the outfield walls at Wrigley Field.

The younger Veeck bought the minor-league Milwaukee Brewers in 1941, mostly by assuming existing debt, but also starting a lifelong habit of trading with other people’s money (in this case, ex-Cub Charlie Grimm).

Paraphrasing Juvenal, the first-century Roman satirist, he said, “You can draw more people with a losing team plus bread and circuses than with a losing team and a long, still silence” and set about to prove it by staging every promotion that he could imagine, both outrageous (giving away live farm animals, staging weddings at home plate) and practical (scheduling morning games for fans coming off night shift – Milwaukee in the 40’s was smack-dab in the middle of America’s ndustrial heartland).

However, Bill also said, “There is no known substitute for winning, and no known cure for losing. We are dealing here only with remedial action.” By his astute horse-trading of players, the Brewers manged 3 Pacific Coast League pennants in the five years that they were owned by Veeck, which netted him a tidy profit of $275,000.00 when he sold the club.

Veeck joined the Marines in 1943, so he was in the South Pacific for two of those victories. His military service cost him his right leg, as the recoil from an artillery piece crushed it and necessitated amputation. He then had his prosthetic limb drilled out so that he could use it as an ashtray!

Part II of this story will follow in a day or two…

…and now, back to music…

…I figure this is a (mostly) music blog, so enough about baseball for the time being.

While in high school, there were few bigger influences on me than the Stones and Faces. Imagine my delight when, in late ’73, news came across the pond that the bands’ respective guitar players, Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood, had teamed up to work on Woody’s first solo album! It seemed almost too good to be true.

The genesis of the project, according to Keith, was that he was out on the town one night and bumped into Ronnie’s first wife, Krissie. She mentioned to Keith that Ronnie was up at their house in Richmond, working on a solo project, and why didn’t he drop by? Keith did, and wound up literally moving in until the album was finished; “I’ve Got My Own Album To Do” quietly became one of the best albums of the mid-70’s.

The title, of course, was a gentle dig at their respective bandmates; Rod Stewart, at the time, was recording his solo effort, “Smiler“, Ronnie Lane had just finished his first solo project, “Anymore for Anymore” , and even Stones’ bassist Bill Wyman had ventured into that territory with “Monkey Grip“. All this gave Keith and Ronnie the necessary time to themselves. Of course, both Rod and Mick Jagger eventually wound up contributing to Ronnie’s album.

In order to create some buzz around the album’s release, the musicians that recorded most of the album (Ronnie & Keith, with Face Ian Maclagan (keys), ex-Sly & the Family Stone Andy Newmark (drums), and veteran session bassist Willie Weeks) played a series of gigs at Kilburn Polytechnic (now part of the College of North West London). This band, though it was only together for the few weeks that the rehearsals and gigs took, is now sometimes referred to as “the First Barbarians” , in reference to Ronnie & Keith’s side project of the 80’s, the New Barbarians.

My impetus for this post is that I remember reading at the time that the gigs were filmed; I wondered if any footage had survived. Youtube, as usual, came through. To whit:

 

A few fun facts about the recording of the album and those shows:

• Keith’s decision to move into Ronnie’s house may have been motivated by considerations other than creativity; Scotland Yard was looking for any excuse to bust him (he’d walked away from some firearms charges when police badly botched the investigation) and had his own London home in Cheyne Walk under 24-hour surveillance.
• The house where the album was recorded, the Wick, is  an English Heritage Grade 1 listed building. Constructed in in 1775, one of the previous occupants was actor John Mills. While there, Keith stayed in daughter Hayley’s former bedroom.
• Before this all took place, Keith and Ronnie were nodding acquaintances. After a few weeks they were bosom buddies, then semi-permanent guest stars in each other’s projects. By 1975, Ronnie had replaced the departing Mick Taylor as the “touring” second guitarist in the Stones and, though other people were auditioned (Wayne Perkins, Ry Cooder) became the last “official” member of the Stones in 1976. Everyone who’s played with them since (Darryl Jones, Chuck Leavell, Ian Mclagan, Blondie Chaplin) has been an employee.
• Like the Pirates’ gigs at Dingwall’s, Woody’s concerts in the fall of 1974 seemed to be one of those touchstone moments for the nascent punk movement in the UK. Nick Kent relates how he was at one of  the concerts with Malcolm McLaren when Steve Jones, Paul Cook, Glen Matlock and first Sex Pistols guitarist Wally Nightingale suddenly appeared out of nowhere; not having the money for tickets, they had used their skills as second-story men and climbed in through a skylight in the roof!

Ahh, history…

I mentioned pictures a while back. These are some more from Rick’s Facebook collection – here’s a never-used publicity shot of the three piece Deacons circa 1993 –

and here’s an often used picture of us playing the G&G, probably in early ’87. No, I don’t know who drew the hat on Dan –

Man, I miss that room. It had the livest, most in-your-face sound of any I’ve ever played in. The combination of that wood floor, the leaded glass, the plaster walls and the heavy velvet drapes (and the fireplace!) gave it a very live sound with very little natural reverb. Too bad they decided that that little stage was better served being a bankette.

OK, one more…

Yet another editorial from the keyboard of the creator of plaidstallions.com . It’s called The 8 Classic Toys Parents Classically Hated, and, being a parent (of a kid who’s thankfully now a teenager), I can sympathize.

there’s always one…

..decade, I mean. For most of us, it’s the seventies, which, from this perspective, now seems somehow as alien as William the Conqueror’s Britain.

Well, it appears that everyone’s least favourite decade now has its own Bayeaux Tapestry – a website called, appropriately enough, Plaidstallions.com. It started with selected excerpts from a period Eaton’s catalogue, and has expanded into toys, fashion, lifestyle (they recently hosted a “bum wine tasting”) and even some video. It’s certainly nostalgic, and a lot more affectionate towards the period than a normal “parody” site would be. My particular favourite is the lingerie catalogue, which is more puzzling than erotic.

To get a handle on the plaidstallions ethos, here’s an article that their head honcho wrote  for another site about the The 9 Most Tragically Hideous Female Action Figures Ever.